TOWNSPEOPLE
Townspeople ©
Bridging beauty with ideology and small town gesture with global thinking.
I caught up with
Tiffany Atkins
to talk struggles,
Town and Takeaways:
TA: There aren't too many adult relationships I can refer to. Truth be told, my last official relationship was at the age of 21(yikes). It was the last time I was officially someone's girlfriend. But for the relationships that had an impact on my life, well, they ended in disappointment.
I carried that feeling for years, which changed who I was. There were good times, but I had given and put more effort, time and energy into those men who in turn, did not reciprocate the things I needed and deserved. They seemed more comfortable with the way things were versus making more of an effort to keep me or truly appreciate who I was and what I meant to them.
They did, however, give me just enough to keep me around but not enough to make me stay, which left an emptiness in my heart. So when I say those relationships changed me, I mean, they made me look at myself and say, what do I want? That's when I began to distinguish the real from the bullshit, and decipher when someone is for me and when they are not.
The perfect guy makes me a priority; cares about my well-being; has his stuff together; is a provider, a protector; he is loving with a pure heart; he communicates well, is affectionate, understanding, encouraging, uplifting, positive, supportive, puts God first, and he has faith and is faithful.
My perfect guy wants the same things out of life as I do, and wants to achieve them together.
TP: How are you making yourself available?
TP: Statistics suggest the divorce rate in America is somewhere between 42%-50%. That said, are you open to dating divorcees?
TA: You know, I never really considered dating a divorcee. It leads me to think of the baggage they may have post divorce or the ties they have with their ex-wives.
TP: Are you looking for Prince Charming or waiting for him to find you? Explain:
TA: I wouldn't say I'm looking for Prince Charming. More like getting myself prepared for when he does come so he'll find a whole woman in Tiffany Marie. Though I do recognize in order for him to find me or at least see me, I need to put myself out there more.
TP: How is 'the one' expected to approach you?
I wonder if it's fear? Do they believe they're missing out on something? More women, more sex?
One thing I know for sure is what I want. As a thirty-six year old woman, I recognize the things I'm not going to tolerate, and I spend less time having my time wasted. And though I do understand that in life every encounter is a lesson that may help you to grow in some way, sometimes I ask the Lord, how many lessons do I need? Lol! But no matter what, I rely on faith and pray that I'm prepared for 'the one' God has made for me.
I have been married for almost 9 years, and with my husband for almost 20...a long time! We met in college, and while neither of us were looking for the one (who does that in college???), our paths crossed, and we knew we would be the one for each other..eventually lol.
We were still "kids" in a sense when we met, and as we matured through life, what we wanted out of "love" matured as well...and while the road wasn't easy, and at times varied, what we learned was to hold on to the foundation we built through the years, and to never let go of each other's hand!
Natalie: Absolutely, I definitely believe finding love in your 30s is achievable. I've been married for a year now and met my husband shortly after my 30th birthday at work of all places. We immediately caught each other's attention but resisted for a while due to work etc. But eventually gave in.
Jason: YES, there's hope! I'm single and ready to mingle. Open to dating outside my race, and going out more to various venues.
Tai: YES, true love isn't defined by what age you are but when your heart/soul connects with the right person. I'm happily married with the deepest attraction and love for my best friend/husband. We met on match.com and it's the best decision I've ever made besides marrying him and giving birth to our child.
Ayana: Yes, I believe finding love in your 30's is achievable, I witness it everyday working in the bridal industry. But, as a single person in her mid 30s, I find it more difficult to find the right partner. I'm finding that most black men I'm interested in are dating women younger than me, or outside their race. While younger men are seeking me, but aren't ready for a serious relationship.
Communication is key and I've become bored with guys I've met because they don't court. I prefer grabbing a drink or dinner as a way to get to know someone not technology, which is my biggest pet peeve. Lastly, I'm more set in my ways and know what I want. There are a lot of men who are intimidated by that. So while I wait for the right guy, I'm focusing on myself and staying open to dating outside my comfort zone. Meanwhile, staying true to myself.
Describe your any day/go everywhere face:
Pizza take-out: Gino's
Date night: Out to dinner, or any outing to enjoy each other's company
Cocktails with girlfriends: Vodka and St Germain with lime
Market:
Sweet treat:
Sunday outing: Brunch with friends at Lexington Brass.
Townspeople ©
Bridging beauty with ideology and small town gesture with global thinking.
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Tiffany Atkins
"good girl" |
Tiffany Atkins is a hair stylist/makeup artist whose lustrous glow is proof of a divine soul. A most beloved confidante, with Tiffany I’m always at home; she is one of the sweetest and most talented people I know. Yet given her many outstanding attributes it’s difficult to believe she’s one of many thirty somethings still looking for love.
Every two weeks I check in with Tiffany to get my hair done. While sitting in her styling chair, I am often moved to ask of her relationship status. Why? I’m genuinely interested. To the extent it's been a struggle to find the one, it’s safe to assume society adds to her struggle by bombarding her with questions of her lone status and adding impossible benchmarks to an already high- pressured decade. I, being society, do more to exacerbate the predicament than soothe it, but I can’t help myself. Tiffany deserves the best.
Unlike your 20s, your 30s suggest you have exact ideas of what you want. Which I’m positive is not a comforting expectation for those lacking direction. Facts are: you're getting older and the stakes are getting higher, and your pool of single girlfriends are becoming an ocean of married women with children, and by now, you’ve likely dealt with a heartbreak or two. So one might say instead of tightening the reigns, it's time to take more risks; life is short. So while 'exacting' may apply to tax returns, it does not correlate with true love.
Let's be honest, it’s easy to get caught up in the things you don't have no matter your age. If in your 30s and have yet to find the one or live in the house of your dreams or be pregnant with your future babies, it’s difficult to get beyond the fantasy and in front of what waits for you. Since I'm no expert, Townspeople snags a personal perspective from one of the good girls who begs the question: “Do men believe they're missing out on something? More women, more sex?”
I caught up with
Tiffany Atkins
to talk struggles,
Town and Takeaways:
Tiffany Atkins on finding 'the one':
TP: Describe some of your previous adult relationships:
TA: There aren't too many adult relationships I can refer to. Truth be told, my last official relationship was at the age of 21(yikes). It was the last time I was officially someone's girlfriend. But for the relationships that had an impact on my life, well, they ended in disappointment.
I carried that feeling for years, which changed who I was. There were good times, but I had given and put more effort, time and energy into those men who in turn, did not reciprocate the things I needed and deserved. They seemed more comfortable with the way things were versus making more of an effort to keep me or truly appreciate who I was and what I meant to them.
They did, however, give me just enough to keep me around but not enough to make me stay, which left an emptiness in my heart. So when I say those relationships changed me, I mean, they made me look at myself and say, what do I want? That's when I began to distinguish the real from the bullshit, and decipher when someone is for me and when they are not.
TP: Would you admit to having a type? If so, describe your perfect guy?
TA: Yes, I admit to having a type. I've always been attracted to tall, smooth, chocolate-skinned men with nice smiles and charisma. Lately, I'm more flexible, but still have a preference for taller men(6 feet & up because I'm 5'8" with size). The perfect guy makes me a priority; cares about my well-being; has his stuff together; is a provider, a protector; he is loving with a pure heart; he communicates well, is affectionate, understanding, encouraging, uplifting, positive, supportive, puts God first, and he has faith and is faithful.
My perfect guy wants the same things out of life as I do, and wants to achieve them together.
TA: Ha! That's the question of the year! To be honest, I need to put myself out there more; I don't make myself available enough, but I'm open!
TP: How do you know when a guy is interested, and how do you let a guy know you're interested?
TP: How do you know when a guy is interested, and how do you let a guy know you're interested?
TA: Typically he makes eye contact and smiles. Which is then followed by small talk or a joke to break the ice. If I'm out he may offer to buy me a drink or comment on my hair or makeup or looks. Funny enough, men pay attention to everything, so it's important to be on point!
I show my interest by smiling; it shows I'm pleasant and approachable. I also engage in small talk, and if the conversation flows it has a chance of continuing.
I show my interest by smiling; it shows I'm pleasant and approachable. I also engage in small talk, and if the conversation flows it has a chance of continuing.
TA: You know, I never really considered dating a divorcee. It leads me to think of the baggage they may have post divorce or the ties they have with their ex-wives.
TP: Are you looking for Prince Charming or waiting for him to find you? Explain:
TA: I wouldn't say I'm looking for Prince Charming. More like getting myself prepared for when he does come so he'll find a whole woman in Tiffany Marie. Though I do recognize in order for him to find me or at least see me, I need to put myself out there more.
TP: Give us your take on online dating and what your experience has been:
TA: Online dating is time consuming. It is a fast way of putting some of yourself out there for the world to see. But I'd prefer the natural interaction of meeting someone one I'm also interested in because you tend to receive attention from people that don't fit your criteria. Online dating isn't for me.
TA: Honestly and openheartedly.
He will recognize I'm the woman he needs and will do everything in his power to get/keep me.
He will recognize I'm the woman he needs and will do everything in his power to get/keep me.
TP: For those wondering, define "good girl":
TA: A good girl is someone who does the right thing in life. One who is not out there dealing with multiple men or sleeping around. She's caring, loving and affectionate, and willing to take care of and do for her significant other without hesitation.
A good girl always makes sure others are doing well. Sometimes putting their needs and wants above her own; she's ride or die; she's with you through thick and thin. Supportive, understanding, and oftentimes, too understanding. She's always there when you need her, and doesn't expect much in return. That said, being a good girl presents a catch 22. Because as much as I give, I may never be given the same treatment in return. Most days, I don't feel like my being a "good girl" is paying off, but I'm hopeful it will someday.
TA: A good girl is someone who does the right thing in life. One who is not out there dealing with multiple men or sleeping around. She's caring, loving and affectionate, and willing to take care of and do for her significant other without hesitation.
A good girl always makes sure others are doing well. Sometimes putting their needs and wants above her own; she's ride or die; she's with you through thick and thin. Supportive, understanding, and oftentimes, too understanding. She's always there when you need her, and doesn't expect much in return. That said, being a good girl presents a catch 22. Because as much as I give, I may never be given the same treatment in return. Most days, I don't feel like my being a "good girl" is paying off, but I'm hopeful it will someday.
TP: As a "good girl" share your reasons for why finding love in your 30s is such a struggle:
TA: I feel like men out there present themselves one way, but in reality, are not ready to settle down with one woman. They want to see what's out there while keeping their options open; they're simply not ready to commit. I wonder if it's fear? Do they believe they're missing out on something? More women, more sex?
One thing I know for sure is what I want. As a thirty-six year old woman, I recognize the things I'm not going to tolerate, and I spend less time having my time wasted. And though I do understand that in life every encounter is a lesson that may help you to grow in some way, sometimes I ask the Lord, how many lessons do I need? Lol! But no matter what, I rely on faith and pray that I'm prepared for 'the one' God has made for me.
Tiffany's best friends chime in:
TP: Is finding love in your 30s achievable? If so, what is your relationship status and how did you find 'the one' or hoping to find 'the one'?
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| (L-R) Danielle, Tiffany, Natalie, Jason, Tai |
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| (L-R) Ayana, Tiffany |
Danielle: I wholeheartedly believe finding love in your 30's is achievable. This is the time you really come into yourself as a woman, and know your worth, wants, and needs.
I have been married for almost 9 years, and with my husband for almost 20...a long time! We met in college, and while neither of us were looking for the one (who does that in college???), our paths crossed, and we knew we would be the one for each other..eventually lol.
We were still "kids" in a sense when we met, and as we matured through life, what we wanted out of "love" matured as well...and while the road wasn't easy, and at times varied, what we learned was to hold on to the foundation we built through the years, and to never let go of each other's hand!
Natalie: Absolutely, I definitely believe finding love in your 30s is achievable. I've been married for a year now and met my husband shortly after my 30th birthday at work of all places. We immediately caught each other's attention but resisted for a while due to work etc. But eventually gave in.
Jason: YES, there's hope! I'm single and ready to mingle. Open to dating outside my race, and going out more to various venues.
Tai: YES, true love isn't defined by what age you are but when your heart/soul connects with the right person. I'm happily married with the deepest attraction and love for my best friend/husband. We met on match.com and it's the best decision I've ever made besides marrying him and giving birth to our child.
Communication is key and I've become bored with guys I've met because they don't court. I prefer grabbing a drink or dinner as a way to get to know someone not technology, which is my biggest pet peeve. Lastly, I'm more set in my ways and know what I want. There are a lot of men who are intimidated by that. So while I wait for the right guy, I'm focusing on myself and staying open to dating outside my comfort zone. Meanwhile, staying true to myself.
TP: Create for any unattached, perfect, worthy of your time and attention, tall, handsome man reading this a road map to your heart:
TA: Listen to me, love me, understand me, show effort and consistency; be honest and loyal.
TP: If 'the one' is out there and reading this, what would you like him to know:
TA: I've been preparing for you to come into my life; I'm ready to receive you, and I pray to God you're prepared to receive me.
What time of day do you feel most beautiful?
Anytime my eyebrows are done and hair is flowing.
Describe your any day/go everywhere face:
Everything! I'm a makeup artist. Lol. Foundation, powder, blush, eyeshadow, mascara, eyeliner, lip gloss and lipsticks. My fav is a neutral tone liquid matte lipstick.
Cafe: Ladurée
Pizza take-out: Gino's
Date night: Out to dinner, or any outing to enjoy each other's company
Cocktails with girlfriends: Vodka and St Germain with lime
Market:
Sweet treat:
Sunday outing: Brunch with friends at Lexington Brass.
Tiffany's Townspeople Takeaways:
Finishing Quote:
If my day were a short story the title would read:
"Love is Love."
Tiffany Atkins
Interview by Crystal Granderson-ReidTownspeople ©
Danai Pointer
I first met Danai Pointer, the middle child of Chinita Pointer, at my eldest daughter’s first violin recital. That was almost ten years ago. Even then, I was impressed by how at such a young age she'd become a key proponent of her father's legacy; an admirable quality not to be underplayed by everything else she has going for her. But as an endowed darling with a story to tell, Danai has set forth to create her own legacy as founder of TruNude: an innovative company prioritizing a woman's wish to have an undergarment that looks and feels like a second skin. Sheer brilliance!
Having worked for corporate giants: Bloomberg, Rubinstein Associates and NYC Department of Cultural Affairs (to name a few), Danai exemplifies savvy businessperson. Although she has admittedly taken a giant leap of faith into entrepreneurship, she is currently Projects Manager for the Aspen Institute Arts Program. How she does it? I can only imagine. Not only did she launch a successful Kick-starter campaign, she's attracted A-list tastemakers necessary to growing a successful brand. Brava!
Ever since we met, we've been fawning over one another like adolescent schoolgirls; never shying away from giving and receiving compliments. That said, Danai Pointer is on her way to becoming the household name we hold closest to our hearts (literally). Townspeople is honored to jumpstart 2017 and chat with the genius behind the product every woman needs:
Ever since we met, we've been fawning over one another like adolescent schoolgirls; never shying away from giving and receiving compliments. That said, Danai Pointer is on her way to becoming the household name we hold closest to our hearts (literally). Townspeople is honored to jumpstart 2017 and chat with the genius behind the product every woman needs:
Danai Pointer
to talk nude, Town and Takeaways:
TP: Why the "second skin" business?
DP: I knew I wanted to start a custom skin tone bra company a few years ago after an experience I had looking for nude bras to wear with three bridesmaid gowns. My complexion is cocoa brown with red undertones and I needed a bra that would blend in, support me, and make me feel secure. I knew I wouldn’t be able to find anything to match me or fit me at the Target near my house so I made an appointment at a specialty bra store in midtown Manhattan certain that they’d have what I needed. After an hour of being felt up and prodded by a well-meaning saleswoman, I finally found the right size and fit for my chest size in shades of black and beige. But when I asked the owner if she had bras that matched my complexion she told me that it “doesn’t exist.” I took the tan option because black was sold out and went on my way. To this day you can still see bits of the tan bra in some of those bridesmaid photos.
I had worked in the government space for 6 years, yet in the back of my mind this idea for a true nude undergarment company kept coming to me. In 2015 I reached a point at which I knew I had to pursue the idea. I trademarked my name, secured my website domain, and proceeded to spend over a year testing technology, researching bra manufacturing, consulting with experts and building a team, and surveying and interviewing women. Last month we successfully completed a Kickstarter campaign to confirm our research and validate our market. Now we’re taking our second skin business to women everywhere.
TP: Share (as best you can) the integration of technology into the overall design?
DP: The most powerful tool we use is right at our fingertips. People around the world have cellphones, so I knew I wanted to integrate tools we already have and twist them a bit to make bra shopping more scientific, unique and pleasurable. The basis of the platform boasts spectrophotometer technology-–a fancy way of saying digital color matching. This allows us to detect a person’s skin tone and create the bra in their unique hue using another internationally recognized skill: a Selfie! Second, our phones serve as GPS trackers, measuring tapes, levels, and more, so how about using them to measure our bust and tell us the right bra size for our body? TruNude is meant to be simple and easy. In just four steps you:
1. snap your selfie and get your color code;
2. select your product;
3. get fit;
4. sit back while we make your bra and ship it to your doorstep.
DP: My background is in public service and communications. I spent 5 years directing public affairs for the nation’s largest municipal art funder followed by 2 years consulting with mayors and their senior staff internationally. The foundation of my experience is project management, problem solving and enhancing quality of life for citizens. So when I thought about ways to improve bra shopping, the company that I founded had to make women’s lives better.
It was a huge risk leaving my job, health insurance, and all of those benefits to pursue this idea and work alone as an entrepreneur. I’m a woman of faith so of course I trusted that God would have my back in everything I do. My former boss always said, “In God we trust, all others bring data.” So before I made the decision to leave I spent a lot of off time doing research to prove that my idea could provide value. I enrolled in a course called the Start Up Ecology that was all about helping entrepreneurs test their ideas and keeping us accountable; I took a textile dye class; and I interviewed over 60 women and surveyed several hundreds more to learn about what women need and want and how my company can be a game-changer.
TP: Describe a typical workday.
DP: Typically I wake up at 7 and go over my lists. In addition to launching TruNude I have two consulting jobs so there are lots of priorities to juggle. Depending on the day I may go to my office on the Upper East Side and knock out tasks there followed by an evening call or meeting about my technology platform; or I’ll spend the day at my co-working space in Lower Manhattan working on TruNude.
My work covers everything from talking to manufacturers to updating my website, planning major cultural events, and meeting with nonprofit clients and coordinating strategies for their organizations. Then add in exercise, dinners, events and other engagements. Thank God for my intern!
TP: Name three cons/three pros of being an entrepreneur thus far.
DP: I’m an optimist so let’s start with the pros:
- I love the freedom! After working in government and a corporate/jet-set atmosphere it’s amazing to set my schedule and be my own boss.
- Seeing the look on women’s faces when I tell them about my company. Women are really excited about TruNude and what it stands for, so I love designing a product that resonates with them and has the potential to transform lives.
- I love a good challenge – and this is certainly that. It’s like putting together a puzzle. Some days you can find the right pieces and it clicks and other days it takes forever and you can’t find what you need. At the end of the day you have faith that everything will fall into place and result in something awesome!
And the cons:
- Not knowing all the answers is hard! Everything that I’m doing is new and requires me to reach out of my comfort zone, learn about new industries, create a new language, and test everything out to ensure that it’s meaningful. But I like the challenge and that’s all part of the fun!
- Working alone can be a lonely business, but I’ve been fortunate to find a great co-working space that gets me out of the house. I learned early that the greatest capital is people, so I’ve developed a talented team of colleagues and collaborators who are extremely smart and encourage me to keep going!
- The nitty-gritty! I look forward to hiring an Operations Coordinator to assist with the technical minutia that takes so much time and makes businesses flow.
TP: Explain your five-year plan in a nutshell:
DP: I want to celebrate our individuality through our custom color matching process, increase options, and help women to feel amazing about their bodies. The experience of wearing your TruNude is really remarkable, especially when you haven't seen your skin in a garment before. And it's cool to unveil your bra after taking a selfie. I don't want to stop with bras and panties. We've had lots of requests for maternity bras, leotards, slips, chest binders, undershirts, and even men's underwear. In five years we want to be THE go-to brand for women and men who want to feel sleek, sophisticated and comfortable wearing their second skin from day to night. Our customers should be able to go through life with our products.
TP: The TruNude experience in a word:
DP: Individu-all
What time of day do you feel most beautiful?
Right before I walk out the door, when everything comes together.
Describe your any day/go everywhere face:
No muss no fuss. All natural and understated works best for me wherever I go. What's in your make-up bag?
Eyeliner, a natural bronze powder called Indian Earth, and Aquaphor! For a night on the town I’ll trade my lip-gloss for Hourglass Icon lipstick or Oh Baby by Mac. But it’s more like make-up Ziploc because I broke my compact…
Pizza take-out: Barboncino
Date night: Date days! He surprises me with full on experiences and I never know what will happen
Cocktails with girlfriends: Le Boudouir
Market: Who needs a market when you’ve got every cuisine around the corner?
Sweet treat: Vermont maple almond brittle
Sunday outing: Museum or movies and dinner
Danai's Townspeople Takeaways:
Shower or bath? My house in my head has a claw-foot bath tub
Coffee or tea? Tea
Natural or treated? Treated (ease is real!)
Loose or fitted? Loose
Heels or flats? Find me a comfy heel and I’ll wear it all day!
Finishing Quote:
"If my day were a short story the title would read:
Lessons in Cramming an Ocean into a Bucket"
Danai Pointer
Interview by Crystal Granderson-Reid
Townspeople ©
Townspeople ©
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Here, in my Brooklyn Bubble, where diversity of thought, ethnicity and economics is the norm, it’s not often you meet someone who converses with kindness and candor while cutting straight to the point. So when I met Carla Licavoli, another open-minded Brooklyn transplant, I found myself asking revelatory questions of a perfect stranger. My hope was to walk away having shared something meaningful with someone who'd left such an incredible impression.
Two weeks ago, at the completion of an unused, purposeless back room into a well-designed laundry space, photographer Carla Licavoli visited my home. My contractor, Drakes Carpentry, hired Carla to photograph the laundry room for his 2017 brochure. After she was done, we discussed my experience with Drakes Carpentry; I had only good things to say. How we stumbled upon the conversation that inspired this interview, I don't recall. Though I do remember it being one of the most honest conversations I've ever had about race.
Carla shared stories of her upbringing in Detroit, of her parents’ perspectives on race, however different from her own, and of being the recipient of discriminatory comments from black women. I wondered what it felt like to be on the receiving end of comments like that. Carla's candor was surprising; she answered every question I threw at her. Her willingness to share made me want to know her better. Understanding ours was a chance encounter happening amid an unsettling Presidential campaign, the conversation spoke volumes about what connects us as women/wives married to black men, and as mothers relishing this Brooklyn Bubble as we prepare our children for the world.
Townspeople asks the difficult questions of a white woman concerned with the many dangers facing her family under a Trump administration. You'll find Carla Licavoli is a woman to be reckoned with; she does not mince words when acknowledging how black women get labeled "angry” if/when they speak out, recognizing that this would never happen to her: "I'm allowed to speak my mind without any worries about how it may be received in reference to my ethnicity."
I caught up with Carla to talk Race, Brooklyn Bubble, Town and Takeaways.
TP: During our conversation, you mentioned a time you visited Detroit with your boys and had an interesting experience at a local fair. Explain:
CL: We were at a street fair and we ran into an acquaintance of my mom's with her grandson. My boys at the time are maybe two and four. I have them looking so cute in their little polo shirts, pushing them in their double stroller. I had heard the story of this child from my mom because the child is biracial. It was an unexpected pregnancy of a white girl by a black man and the man didn't stick around (the implied "as usual" always looming in every conversation about this situation). So this white grandmother is walking her biracial grandson through the street fair, his hair is a mess, his clothes are a mess, it's actually quite sad. She spots me and my boy, in their pristine outfits and glistening hair, come over and says "Look Ben, kids like you." The shock, disgust, anger that I felt in that instant followed by the deep sadness that this sweet little boy had to grow up in a house like that, being made to feel like he was different. Ugh! I wanted to grab his hand and take him with me. So I politely said to the woman, so as not to cause a scene in front of my children, "I'm going to walk away now before I say something I'm going to regret".
TP: Growing up, what was the racial climate in Detroit?
CL: Detroit was incredibly segregated. People of different ethnicities didn't mix. I went to a catholic school on the East Side of Detroit that was 95% white in a city that was only 30% white. We had maybe one black family at our school and almost no interaction with anyone that wasn't white.
TP: How did your parents respond to the racial climate in Detroit? How do your parents respond to the racial climate in America today?
CL: I don't think my parents did respond to the racial climate. They kept separate. My dad was a Detroit firefighter, so there were the black guys he worked with, that he trusted with his life and then there were the residents of Detroit that in his view, were destroying their city and ruining it for the rest of us. Black people were put into two categories, good ones and bad ones and the good ones were rare.
Their views haven't really changed. We have had some deep and trying discussions in the last six months with the rise of the Black Lives Matter movement. My husband, sons and I walked in March in Fort Greene, Brooklyn in August after the murders of Philando Castile and Alton Sterling. I expressed my fear about every time my husband walks out of our home on social media and my mother responded how I don't have to worry, he's one of the good ones. This sparked a ferocious debate with lots of my friends trying to explain to my mother why what she said was wrong and her answer to all of it was "All Lives Matter". It has caused a huge divide in our relationship and has caused arguments between my parents and my sisters as well. My parents just cannot see how they are complicit in any measure of racism because they love their grandchildren and son in law, yet don't recognize the fact that my husband and children are viewed by a large chunk of society as dangerous or criminals.
TP: How do “race” conversations had in your childhood home compare to ones you’re having now? Explain.
CL: We never discussed race in my childhood home. We had to move out of the city because the crime was out of control. Our house had been broken into several times (all by white men) yet the feeling was that black people were ruining the city. So we moved to the suburbs, like so many city workers at that time.
Our first discussions on race began when I started dating my husband in 2004. My parents didn't want to meet him. I told them they didn't have to. I knew that this was serious and I didn't want to push anything on them that they were uncomfortable with. I told them it was their choice and they never had to meet him if they didn't want to but he was going to be in my life and by shutting him out, they would also be shutting me out. Eventually my mother came around because she felt her mother, my grandmother who loved everyone, would have been ashamed of how she was acting. So, Andre and I boarded a plane and flew to Detroit to meet my family. I didn't realize then what a leap of faith he was making. How hard that must have been for him, knowing he was pre-judged before he even walked in the door. Of course everyone loved him. I heard things like "he's so well-spoken" and my dad telling his friends how educated André was. Justifying to their friends that he's one of the "good ones". And not being "woke" at the time, I was happy. I thought all was good and my parents had overcome their years of bias and racism.
TP: You mentioned a disturbing situation at a local ballet school your friend's daughter attends, and you appeared utterly put off. Would you mind sharing this story with Brooklyn Chateau readers?
CL: My friend’s eight-year-old daughter is an amazing dancer. She dances at a school in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn and is one of the only black children at the school. Every year they put on a production of the Nutcracker and when you reach a certain level you get to be a girl in the party scene. The director at the school had assured my friend that her daughter would be a girl in this scene. Due to a shortage of other roles they also asked her to be a mouse and a soldier in other scenes. Then when it comes time to give out the roles, my friend’s daughter finds out she’s a boy in the party scene. My friend questioning the director asks why when she was told that she would be a girl and the director tells her that because of the other roles she’s in, where she has to wear a hat, the girls dancing in scene are supposed to have bouncing curls and they just don’t know how her [black] hair will transition between roles.
My friend, outraged and in tears, tells me this story as we are working on a photo shoot together. I am livid. I tell her why isn’t she screaming at these people, why isn’t she posting things about this school online, why isn’t she pulling her kids from the school where she spends hundreds of dollars every month. She says “I don’t want to be the angry black woman.” My heart broke. You can’t even be outraged for an injustice your child has suffered because you don’t want to be viewed as “the angry black woman”. I told her I would go down there and scream on her behalf. I can do that. I can lose my temper at someone and never would I be judged as the “angry white woman”. It’s a perfect example of white privilege. I’ve never had to restrict my outrage for fear of judgment. I’m allowed to speak my mind without any worries about how it may be received in reference to my ethnicity.
TP: At their young ages, have your boys experienced racial discrimination or prejudice of any kind? If yes, how have you responded?
CL: I don’t think so. We live in the Brooklyn Bubble and they go to a school where it is more rare to have families coming from similar ethnic backgrounds. When we travel we have been fortunate to not encounter any issues...yet. It may change as we make our way to the Midwest for Christmas this year.
TP: How do you think the race of your sons affects your concerns for their future?
CL: I’m scared. My oldest son has oppositional defiance disorder (ODD) and ADHD. He’s big for his age. My biggest fear is that he will be in a situation where a police officer will tell him to do something and he won’t comply. I know that black boys are at a huge disadvantage in the eyes of the law, in school and in society in general. I also don’t want them to feel “other”, “less than” or even different. I worry that the images they see could influence how they see themselves. I try to really control what movies they see, shows they watch and books they read so that they don’t feel any less advantaged than anyone else.
TP: As mothers (for the most part), we become ferocious when our children fall in harm’s way. That said how do you feel regarding our President elect?
CL: I feel like the President elect has emboldened the racists in our country. They feel like they can say what they want without consequences. I think as a symbol for our nation, he makes me embarrassed to be American. I try to look at it through a global lens and I was really proud for the last eight years.
I feel like the President elect puts us all in danger and if you think because you are white, you are safe, you are so wrong. If he starts a war… we are all in danger. If he makes a bad choice for Supreme Court justice, all of our civil liberties are at risk.
TP: What's your take on raising children in our Brooklyn Bubble?
CL: I love our Brooklyn Bubble! I think it’s a perfect place to raise kids because they are free to be whatever they want to be. Free to explore whom they are with other open-minded kids and families. Another parent at my kids’ school said something to me that really helped me put it all in perspective. “We live in our Brooklyn Bubble and it’s great but our job under this new administration is to make our bubble grow.” I love that concept. Expanding our safe haven of ethnic, gender and religious acceptance until there is no place where we are unsafe.
TL: How does it compare to your childhood in Detroit?
CL: There’s no comparison. I was raised with no diversity. No political conversation. No conversation about sexuality. I was raised catholic. Went to catholic school. My parents made sure we were cared for in all the basic ways, food, shelter, education, etc. I think they did the best that they knew how.
TP: How will you prepare your sons for the "real" world?
CL: I think the best thing we can do is to be honest with them. I don't want to scare them but I don't want to sugar coat it either. I want them to know that many people in this world will view them as dangerous. I also want to instill in them a sense of social justice, a responsibility to take care of others as well as themselves. I think that is the disconnect between my parents and myself. I spoke to my dad today and was trying to explain to him why Trump is so scary to so many. He explained how he's getting a tax break and how everyone will calm down once they get theirs. It's like he can't see anything outside of his wallet. I want my sons to remember that their actions, whether it's voting for someone or buying a responsibly sourced product, all has a greater impact than just how it affects you, personally. When you make choices, think of all of the people that those choices affect beside yourself. I think if I can help them look at the bigger picture, I can help them to be better citizens of the world.
My husband and I already had the police talk with them about how to respond if an officer stops you. I never imagined having that talk with my children but my husband’s mom had that talk with him and because of the current state of affairs, we are having that talk with our 8 and 6 year old. It's so sad.
TP: Do you have an opinion on why black women make discriminatory comments against you and your husband?
CL: I don't really have an opinion on it. I think it says more about them than about me. I try to ignore it. It is harder on my husband. He said that he was used to everyone hating on him except for black people and that being with me, he now had to endure more hate from his own people.
TP: What are your views on white privilege and how has it changed after having children?
CL: It's real. I didn't know I had it until actually very recently. I've been trying to educate myself on the black experience, reading and watching documentaries, and I see it. I feel it. It's a real thing. I am more aware of it when speaking with other white people. Especially when talking with Trump supporters and how they were able to look past his list of racist comments because it would never affect them. Being a mother of black boys has forced me to see the world through their eyes and see how the eyes of the world look at them.
TP: Are you an optimist or a pessimist?
CL: Optimist, for sure. I have to be. I have to hope that the world is getting better. My kids won't know the term “gay marriage” they'll just know it as “marriage”. I love that! I had hoped their first two presidents would be a black man and a woman and I had so much hope for that...but that is not the case, though the next person might be a woman or a person of color. I think the Millennials are moving past racial and gender norms in a way no other generation has done. I think my boys will come into adulthood in a more open-minded society and that gives me hope.
Carla's Beauty Blueprint:
What time of day do you feel most beautiful?
When I'm doing something I love, like taking pictures and when I'm at the beach.
Describe your any day/go everywhere face:
Tinted moisturizer and mascara
When I'm doing something I love, like taking pictures and when I'm at the beach.
Describe your any day/go everywhere face:
Tinted moisturizer and mascara
What's in your make-up bag?
Dr. Jarts - Black Label detox beauty balm
Mac - Devilishly dark eye shadow x4
Smash box - bronzer
Kahina - Argan oil
For special occasions:
Mac- Ruby Woo red lipstick
Clinique - cake eyeliner
Cafe: Colador and The Black Swan
Pizza take-out: Speedy Romeo
Date night: used to be Do or Dine :( now Vandal
Cocktails with girlfriends: not often enough!!
Market: Trader Joe’s
Sweet treat: Dough
Sunday outing: hiking in warm weather, beach in hot weather, museum in cold or rain.
Carla's Townspeople Takeaways:
Principles or politics?
principles
Shower or bath? shower
Coffee or tea? COFFEE!!!
Natural or treated? Whatever makes you feel good. I've done both and love both but currently natural.
Loose or fitted?
Fitted out on the town, loose at home
Heels or flats?
Flats
Work out or work less?
Wish I had time for either!!
Both. Sometimes you need some country living to appreciate the hustle of the city
Finishing Quote:
"If my day were a short story the title would read:
I'm still learning.”
CARLA LICAVOLI
Interview by Crystal Granderson-Reid
Townspeople ©
'Sheila Bridges'
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| Interior Designer/Author Named "America's Best Interior Designer" by CNN and Time Magazine |
I started by devouring her television show, Sheila Bridges: Designer Living, then swallowing her first design book, Furnishing Forward, whole. I marveled at Sheila's ability to mix bold patterns and textures while incorporating contrasting periods and styles. In Furnishing Forward, she mentions that our homes effect our emotional well-being, and by creating a desirable interior your mood is elevated. The promise of instant cheer intrigued me. By watching Designer Living, I became a pro at shopping flea markets and antique shops. So much so, routine Saturdays went from window-shopping in Soho to purchasing timeless treasures at the 26th street flea market in Chelsea. Now, my parlor is full of smart, well-constructed treasures that speak to my emotional and aesthetic self.
Next to being an incredible designer, Sheila Bridges is a prolific writer whose words show an empathic, observant eye. I inhaled THE BALD MERMAID. And by inhaled I mean: I did not release a breath until I'd consumed all 345 pages. Not to mention, I discovered interesting parallels between our two lives. From being called 'white girl', to the tribulations of being black, female and entrepreneurial. Yet perhaps the most resonant and enduring narrative (albeit the shortest chapter in the book) was the chapter on "Miss Universe". And yes, I love that Sheila gives the universe a feminine title. If for no other reason, we women have immense strength, uncompromising integrity and the ability to change lives. That said, Sheila's story encapsulates how our personal struggles propel us forward and ultimately define who we are. THE BALD MERMAID is the perfect 'pick me up and never put me down' book. Each chapter a decadent gift filled with relevant anecdotes devoid of sugar coating. It's impossible to walk away feeling sorry for Sheila Bridges or yourself.
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| Harlem Toile Wallpaper |
I was recently re-acquainted with Sheila Bridges Design @harlemtoilegirl (Instagram). I appreciate that like mine, her social-media identity gives nod to Old World Europe (Toile) and new world bourgeoisie (Harlem). At the end of her book, Sheila describes her relationship with modern technology as adversarial. But says about her personal relationships, "What I want is to see you in the flesh and look you in the eyes-maybe have a glass of rosé or a root bear float, and catch up in person." I love her throwback approach to communication. And had Sheila said this to me I'd say, "If there's a chance @harlemtoilegirl ventures across the bridge, @Brooklyn_Chateau welcomes you with open arms, endless glasses of rosé and dying-to-be-wallpapered hallways." Townspeople chats with Sheila Bridges to find out how 'Miss Universe' treats her when no one's watching.
I caught up with
Interior Designer/Author
SHEILA BRIDGES
to talk 'Miss Universe',
Town & Takeaways.
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Sheila Bridges' on 'Miss Universe':
TP: There's a moment in Chapter 12 (The Taste of Baldness) where you're crossing the street while eating an overpriced gingerbread man (crunch sounds included). You describe biting off its frosted head to "find out what baldness really tasted like." Baldness being your permanent reality, please describe how it feels today:
SB: While being bald is definitely easier than going bald, having hair tastes better. One of the things that always bothered me about being diagnosed with Alopecia is that I felt like I didn't have a choice. Sure, I guess I could have chosen to wear a wig but that just wasn't (isn't) me. While there is nothing life threatening about Alopecia, it is certainly life altering. I think it will always be challenging to navigate through life as a woman without hair.
TP: In Chapter 14 (The Hair Delicatessen), we see a microcosm of New York City's female populace: women of various ethnicities and walks of life waiting to purchase pounds of artificial hair. What do you find is the greatest common denominator amongst women?
SB: In general I think most women are tough but they are even tougher on themselves and this is particularly true when it comes to matters of beauty. Our society has created these crazy/unrealistic standards of beauty that just aren't realistic, attainable or achievable for most women-particularly for women of color.
TP: Your sense of humor prevails throughout the book. Often trumping your otherwise poetic voice present in most of its pages. And while I loved both, I truly enjoyed the brutally honest, wry (borderline surly) voice your humorous side offers. How did you develop your sense of humor?
TP: You describe those moments in your home crying and weeping as having had an emotional miscarriage while 'Miss Universe' sat idly by drinking a chamomile tea. Why did you liken you grief to having an emotional miscarriage?
SB: That short chapter was probably the hardest chapter of my book to write since I needed to make myself extremely vulnerable and tap into some of the tremendous feelings of loss that I experienced when I lost my hair. I wanted that chapter to read differently than all of the others which is why I chose to anthropomorphize the Universe and feelings that accompanied my emotions.
TP: I love how Dolby (Sheila's dog photographed throughout the book) was a prominent character. His loyalty and sophistication were magnetic. I found myself waiting on Dolby's reaction to everything. Have you found the same refinement to exist in any two-legged friends?
SB: Not so sure about "refinement" but I do know that part of my connection to dogs, horses and other animals is the type of unconditional and spiritual love they have always given me. I appreciate their very special type of honesty and loyalty. It's part of the reason that if I hadn't become an interior designer I am convinced that I would have probably become a veterinarian.
TP: In THE BALD MERMAID, we experience your fire and fury, gentility and reverie, as well as some magical and sullen moments. And though you don't claim it explicitly, a childlike sensibility is evident throughout your prose. What's more, you write beautifully of a mermaid you believe carried you safely back to shore during a family trip in Jamaica. Years later, do you still believe in mermaids?
SB: Imagine what life would be like without fantasy. I will always believe in Mermaids!
TP: With so many people suffering loss, any tips on how best to overcome a difficult situation?
SB: At some point everyone will experience loss. As difficult as it is, I also think it's necessary to give into it in order to eventually heal from your loss. Crying or expressing sadness or grief is part of the natural healing process and there's nothing wrong with succumbing to it. It's not an indication of how weak you are but more of an acknowledgement of how much something mattered or meant to you before you lost it.
TP: Any thoughts on what 'Miss Universe' has in store for you in 2016?
SB: I'm really excited about 2016. I've been contemplating some major changes in my professional life but we'll just have to see how it plays out. More than anything I try to take each day as it comes. Either way it's important for me to acknowledge that I am very fortunate because I am far more blessed than burdened.
What time of day do you feel most beautiful?
I'm a morning person so I guess I would say that I feel my best and my most beautiful in early part of the day.
Describe your any day/go everywhere face:
Most days I don't wear much makeup unless I have a meeting with a client or something important enough that requires a "face." Usually I just moisturize well then use powder, brown eyeliner and eyebrow pencil. Lip color is always must!
What's in your make-up bag?
What's in your make-up bag?
What isn't in my makeup bag? Lots of Nars lipstick crayons in assorted shades, as well as MAC blush, pressed powder and concealer, Stila liquid eyeliner in dark brown, Urban Decay eye pencil in brown, tweezers, lip balm, scissors, and assorted brushes. Make-up Forever eyelashes in dark brown and DUO eyelash adhesive for the evenings that I need to have a more dramatic look.
Take-out: LoLo's SeafoodShack
Date night: That's up to him and between us
Sweet treat: Black and white cookies
Sunday outing: Hiking with my dogs
Sheila Bridges' Country:
Hudson Valley
Antique shop: Too many to choose from in Hudson,NY
Sheila Bridges' Townspeople Takeaways:
Hudson Valley
Farm stand:Montgomery Place FarmStand
Interview by Crystal Granderson-Reid
Townspeople ©
'Rain'
'Behind the pink frames'
Rain
Disclaimer: The following profile is not intended to harm, hurt or disturb the marriage and/or family affected, nor celebrates infidelity in any way. It's intended to share a personal journey of which many can relate.
‘Rain’ is a rare bird: strikingly beautiful, appearing intermittently and always at her best. She holds a high profile position in Education, of which her attributes include organization, detail orientation and leadership. Add overwhelming love and devotion to this impressive list and you have Rain, mother and wife. Hers is a life that from the outside appears ideal. Except the truth of the matter is: life, as she knew it, was quietly imploding. So what happens when the marriage you’ve built no longer sustains you? Do you leave and risk everything? Or do you stay and risk losing yourself?
In light of a recent study, research shows women commit infidelity just as much as men. Moreover, women are admitting to indiscretions and gaining more than just cheap thrills. So while we're aware of the traditional list of basic needs: food, water and shelter, another essential element being gravely discounted is the sense of belonging. That when missing, fosters feelings of desperation, which can then prompt anyone to seek closeness elsewhere.
One morning over tea and omelets, I met with Rain for our very first get-to-know-you conversation. And though the intention was to discuss our children, Rain's girlish glow dominated the conversation. While sporting a signature pair of pink, translucent frames that worn against a sun-kissed, dewy complexion Rain emanated light. You might have thought she'd just returned from a Caribbean vacation but in actuality, Rain was basking in the aftermath of an extramarital affair. More surprising was the willingness to share every intimate detail.
As I listened to Rain gush about her forbidden love, I thought her tryst to be a minor derailment. After all, nothing created in LOVE is beyond repair. Right? Besides, old friends of mine experienced a similar stumbling block and worked through it. Rain and her husband could surely do the same. But upon further discussion, I discovered behind the pale, pink frames lay a once broken woman rehabilitated by a new, albeit, forbidden love. Rain's efficacy for true love trumped my wishful thinking. So I abandoned the idea she'd see things my way and listened intently. Moreover, she'd already bypassed the many criticisms infidelity can conjure and on the road to pursuing divorce. But amid making those hard choices, to Rain's relief, a handful of women she'd chosen to share her story with offered affirmative nods and words of encouragement. As if to say, we too, hope our paths lead to true happiness. A happiness Rain gleefully embraces as light spills out from her every pore.
And for reasons both obvious and perhaps, not so obvious, Rain's story brings to mind a Beyonce song entitled Superpower:
...And when I'm standing in this mirror
After all these years
What I'm viewing is a little different
From what your eyes show you
Guess I didn't see myself before you
Moving forward...
With that, Townspeople ventures into uncharted territory: the secret underpinning of a woman's heart when life takes an unexpected turn and what remains is a choice she vows not to regret.
I caught up with Rain
to talk Choices, Town & Takeaways.
Rain on 'Behind the pink frames':
TP: Why caused you to seek closeness outside your marriage?
Rain: My love/my friend and I did not plan to fall in love. We were friends and running partners for well over six years yet had known of each other for almost eleven. When running together we NEVER discussed our marital relationships. He wasn't that type of person. Plus I felt out of sorts discussing my failing relationship particularly with someone I believed to be in a wholesome, loving relationship. Besides, it would very early in the morning when we'd run. After which, we'd return to our separate homes to wake the household and get everyone off to school and work. Our discussions consisted mainly of books we'd read, children and politics. But on one of our runs during the summer of 2013, there existed an ever-consuming, electric energy that refused to be dismissed. I carried that energy with me for a few days and finally after one of our evening runs, we rested on a bench at The Promenade while I hinting that I had something to ask him. And though I didn't ask the question that night, I would eventually do so on a beach in Martha's Vineyard, later that summer. But that night, after returning home and after showering, I received a text from him that said,"Yes". And though at the time, we weren't aware of each other's situation, both of our marriages were crumbling. And as time passed I would think of him and my heart would skip a beat. A glow as bright as the sun has poured from my face ever since.
(As I type this response, I am reliving the moment and lighting up a dim cafe near my home.)
TP: What was the fatal downfall within your marriage?
Rain: About nine years ago, I discovered my husband was having an inappropriate relationship outside of our marriage. At the time, we had one child and I worked at a non-profit. I was loving life and reveling my marriage. We were ten years into our union and though things had been challenging at times, we were not to the point of seeking solace outside of our marriage or so I thought. We lived a normal life. We planned for the future, talked about finances. It was anything but dramatic and I'd always been a communicator. I welcomed every type of communication from talk to texting. We had date nights, not on a regular basis, but here and there. We'd occasionally have a neighbor watch our son and catch a movie. Then there were the neighborhood parties and get-togethers, community service work, (my) work events, our children's play dates and house-projects. Our sexual relationship was good as well. I had no major complaints. Until one year I noticed I no longer received phone calls at work and I became the only one initiating sex. He appeared disinterested.
After Christmas 2005 with a New Year approaching, a little voice told me not to go into work and to check his email account. I am of the school of thought that you must listen to that voice inside of you. It tells you EVERYTHING! For a second, his email address failed me. But after a few minutes, I typed in the password and discovered inappropriate emails from and to one of his former colleague. After confronting, arguing and talking about what I'd discovered, my husband told me he'd end the "friendship". He never admitted to an affair. Instead, referred to it as a "special friendship". I asked that we see a marriage counselor. We did but he wasn't into it.
After another few years, I asked that we see another marriage counselor, in which he agreed once again but failed to do the actual work. At that point, I decided to get my act together. Work on me, love me, think about my children and secure a lucrative job/career that would catapult me to another level should the marriage fail. And that's exactly what I did. I'd decided long before running with my love/my friend that I was going to divorce my husband because I wasn't being fulfilled; I didn't feel protected, valued or loved. I'd become my husband's safety net. He'd grown comfortable. That may have been good enough for him but not for me. I desire a more fulfilling relationship that's loving and wholesome and beautiful and meaningful. You may ask, Did my husband EVER make me feel this way? Yes! 15-20 years ago (when I was in my twenties and early thirties), but now I am a grown woman with grown woman wants and needs. And proved that he didn't want nor did he care to treat me as such though I was more than willing to LOVE and CARE for him.
My husband lied to me more than enough times and recently, it's rumored, he has a child with his "special friend". The wife is always the last to know. News of this solidified my decision to divorce.
TP: Describe the moment your affair began:
Rain: As I mentioned previously, it wasn't until the summer of 2013, on one of our runs, I realized I was falling in love with my friend and he with me. We were such novices at this feeling and didn't know what to do. Both he and I have been married for years and hadn't been with anyone else except for our partners. He emailed me at 3:27am, August 15, 2013. That night, I couldn't sleep and woke at 4am. And for no specific reason, I turned on my computer and checked my email. To my surprise I found an email from him. It was poetic. I felt as if I was channeling Leo Tolstoy's Anna Karenina. Soon after, we experienced our first kiss in a secluded park. The kiss was soft and sweet and endearing and intentional.
The very next day, my family and I left for a vacation on Martha's Vineyard. We figured time apart would cool things down, but instead we texted throughout my vacation. It was tremendous! I think I must have loved him for so long but hadn't realized it. Our connection felt easy, natural. We weren't shy or afraid. It felt like we'd known each other for so long. When we'd go out on dates, fellow patrons would pay for our desserts. One time, a waiter brought us something from the menu because she thought we were "just so cute". And a fellow runner caught us holding hands and commented, "Ahhh lovely". Our love affair lasted eleven months.
TP: Describe the moment you told your husband the truth:
Rain: I didn't decide to tell him anything. As far as I was concerned, my love/my friend was my business, my truth. If my husband found out, then fine. But I tried to be discreet and not flaunt my joy in front of him. Next to the fact that our marriage was broken and I felt nothing for him, I tend to wear my emotions on my sleeve and he sensed I was involved in something/someone other than him. He'd observed my girlish, glowing energy and noticed I'd texting a bit too much. But it wasn't until on vacation in Martha's Vineyard that he went through my phone and learned of everything. And when he confronted me, I boldly said to him, "Now you know how I felt!"
TP: After clearing away the debris of your failed marriage, what remains?
Rain: Two wonderful, smart, loving, respectful, curious, energetic, independent, empathetic children whom I adore. They are both so delicious in their own curious ways. Two burgeoning young people I'm confident will grow to be global citizens, marching to the beat of their own drums despite society's harsh limitations.
TP: How do you intend to move forward?
Rain: My plan (prior to the affair) was to separate and eventually divorce my husband. My failing marriage had nothing to do with my affair. I want and need to live a fulfilled life. Most importantly, it's imperative my children see me happy and tackling issues, and being fulfilled in a meaningful way. I want them to witness two people in love, protecting each other (and them) while living life purposefully.
TP: Prior to the affair, what were your views on infidelity?
Rain: I was totally against it. I grew up in the church. My spirituality has always been extremely important to me. Therefore, mimicking the views of the church. Except that when I found out about my husband's affair, I began thinking differently about infidelity. I considered that perhaps folks are due for at least two loves in a lifetime. Who am I to hold him back from that? My discontent with my husband lay in the fact that he lied to me and wasted precious time and energy.
TP: Name the elements crucial to a fulfilling relationship:
Rain: Feeling protected, valued, and loved is so very important. I would also add that transparency and honesty, and confidence are just as crucial. Not to mention, commonality and having a work-life balance play a major role.
TP: Are you satisfied with the your choices?
Rain: When my love/my friend and I started calling and texting and meeting one another, I looked at him and said no matter what, I will never regret the choice to not back away. I enjoyed our ups and downs. I especially loved being in love and sharing love with him. The companionship was nothing I'd ever experienced, not even with my husband. If I had to do it all again, I would. And I am still fulfilled and glowing and loving although our companionship ended months ago. Still, I will never forget the moments we shared.
TP: Last word on choosing to be happy:
Rain: I admire people, especially women, who choose to be warriors in their lives and not allow the rules of society to dictate who they should love, when they should love, who they should be, what they should eat, wear, where they should live, work, or attend school. Those women are free and living life FULLY! And please, don't misinterpret me. I am not suggesting that folks have an affair. My affair and falling in love wasn't planned. It was far from intentional. I'm merely stating that sometimes LIFE presents itself in ways we may not understand and we're forced to make choices. My married life was so clouded by my husband's lies I was left with only two choices: to be happy or to be miserable. I chose to be happy.
I remember when I was in the 4th grade, and my hippie teacher (loved him) required the class to memorize Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken". It remains one of my FAVORITE poems. And throughout my life, give or take, adolescent/teenage/young adulthood years, this poem is at the forefront of my thoughts when making key decisions:
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and sorry I could not travel
both, and be one traveler, long I stood, and looked down one as
far as I could, to where it bent in the undergrowth…
The last stanza says,
I shall be telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
- Robert Frost
So while naysayers shake their heads and say, "you don't have to sleep with someone else's husband or I would NEVER have an affair," trying hard not to sound cliché, you should never say never. There's simply no way of knowing how and why a situation like mine unfolds or how you'll respond when it presents itself.
TP: What is the most important thing a woman can do for herself?
Rain: Women need to be honest and ask the question, am I being fulfilled? Work on YOU! Work on YOU! Work on YOU! Yoga, mindfulness, prayer, exercise, eat right, read, and get uncomfortable with life. Take judging others and gossip out of your life and throw it into the landfills!
Do something different every year. Something you've always been intimidated by yet curious. Try it! You'll be pleasantly surprised as you witness yourself stretching beyond the limitations you've set for yourself. Don't leave this life with regrets. I won't!
A few months ago, I completed Americanah, a beautiful novel by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. On the very last page (pg.588), Obinze says to his life-long love, Ifemelu (who isn't his wife):
"I know we could accept the things we can't be for each other, and even turn it into the poetic tragedy of our lives. Or we could act. I want to act. I want this to happen."
These characters chose to LIVE! I choose to LIVE!
Rain's Beauty Blueprint:
What time of day do you feel most beautiful?
Rain: Twilight.
Rain: Iman's Jaguar lipstick, Mac's lip-gloss, a nail-file, a nail-clipper, a safety pin, COCO Chanel's Mademoiselle's purse spray and a handkerchief.
Rain's Town: Bedford-Stuyvesant, Brooklyn
Favorite Town Haunts:
Pizza take-out: Saraghina
Date night: L’Antagoniste
Cocktails with girlfriends: Therapy
Market: Bed Stuy Fresh and Local
Sweet treat: Dough
Sunday outing: Museums, bike rides, and/or evening strolls across one of our bridges.
Rain's Townspeople Takeaways:
Shower or bath? Bath
Coffee or tea? Tea
Natural or treated? Natural
Loose or fitted? Both
Heels or flats? Heels (flats with my children)
Work out or work less? Work out
Finishing Quote:
"If my day were a short story the title would read:
Ever Mindful, Ever Love."
'Rain'
Interview by Crystal Granderson-Reid
'Roxanne Sarno'
'The Everywoman'
Roxanne Sarno
Roxanne Sarno has created an inviolable sanctuary inside her Brooklyn townhouse. With two children and a doting husband, homemaker, gourmet chef, horticulturist, designer, architect and impeccable shopper are all within her wheelhouse. Her focus on what truly matters: family, home, food (and fashion) is simple yet so profound. To me, Roxanne is Martha Stewart meets Miranda Brooks meets Anna Wintour meets Ketut Liyer–Balinese medicine man from the NY Times best selling memoir Eat Pray Love (in spirit, not attractiveness). Roxanne is a beauty. That said, her home is a sublime mixture of elegance and comfort, and a complete reflection of who she is. With cozy comfort being the central theme throughout, our morning teas often turn into late lunches. And Roxanne's rear garden...well, it’s enough to cause the most extreme house envy. Next to the actual Brooklyn Botanic Garden, hers is the gem of Lefferts Manor.
Roxanne’s garden is a symmetrical oasis with an unexpected mix of bought and found chandeliers to illuminate any desired mood. Strategically placed mirrors bounce light and beauty from corner to corner. A fountain that once housed Gold fish serves as the perfect buffer for what is decidedly a quiet breathing space. Her garden is lavish and unrestrained; a design yielding a classic framework that offers privacy without feeling enclosed. White Peonies, blue hydrangea and blush-colored roses are at once a plush and lacy boundary against the more structured sky pencils. Wisteria, honeysuckle, orange trees and drift roses spill off of a glass balcony and perfume the entire space. Whenever I enter Roxanne's garden, I want to plunge into it as if it were a meadow. And while other gardens have a sense of the ephemeral, Roxanne’s garden is everlasting.
I’ll admit, it’s been difficult trying to capture Roxanne in under 400 hundred words. She's so talented at so many things, it's impossible to depict this 'Everywoman' in one profile. But for now (and to borrow from a description Blogger/Photographer Garance Dore uses for people/things she loves), Roxanne is one of my essentials. And while many will have had the pleasure of touring her parlor floor/garden to find her home a designer's dream and her kitchen plucked from a French film, I have the extraordinary pleasure of calling her 'friend'.
I should probably mention that Roxanne is extremely camera shy and unabashedly private. You should also know that the rare opportunity to photograph Roxanne in her element, wearing a simple white t-shirt and Alberta Ferretti skirt, was not taken lightly. Townspeople takes a stroll through Roxanne's garden and walks away with the secret to transforming a once common backyard into a European oasis.
I caught up with Roxanne to talk Gardening, Town and Takeaways:
Roxanne on Gardening:
TP: What/who are some of your creative influences?
RS: Creative people across many disciplines inspire me constantly. For the last few years it’s been the work of Lucciano Giubbilei, a landscape designer from Italy by way of London. Other landscape designers are Jacques Wirtz and Mario Nievera. Interior designers whose works have a strong connection to garden design bear mention such as Charlotte Moss, Bunny Williams and Carolyne Roehm. And of course, I can’t forget Martha Stewart.
TP: Your botanic garden evokes a level of complexity. Was that specific to your design? If so, why?
RS: I don’t necessarily think of my garden as complex, at its heart it’s quite simple. There’s an emphasis on form and symmetry with a cool colour palette of greens, blues, whites and purples. It’s a rectangular space that’s essentially divided into two “rooms” with striking elements in both while still connected via a rose covered arbour. The design was generated based on fixed elements; the giant crab apple tree which created a shaded area and asymmetry at the rear and my imposition of repetitive forms and the need for a “ green carpet” in the front “room”. All the while satisfying my most important brief to have a moonlit garden that had year round interest.
TP: Is your use of diverse heights, hues and plant varieties purposeful? Explain?
RS: There are very few accidents here, every plant is chosen to fulfill a specific purpose. Just as when designing an interior space, I wanted variety in texture, though not necessarily colour. There is a rhythm created through the use of multiple “sky pencil” (ilex crenata) separated by mass plantings of white peonies and pale coloured shrub roses.
TP: How did you begin your garden transformation?
RS: This south facing garden has evolved overseveral years but the foundation of what is present was carefully laid out on paper as a template to follow. It’s had to serve a young family with two boys and many soccer balls and sprinklers along the way. There was always a small green area that I wanted to keep, though in an earlier plan, the grass area was circular. The crab apple tree, which we fell in love with when we purchased the house, dictated the shade area, which I surrounded with blue and white hydrangeas and other shade loving plants. A Mother’s Day present of a white Chinese Dogwood is also in the mix at he rear. A circular brick herringbone patio was installed by me with the help of my husband (chief co-conspirator in all my plans)one summer evening after putting the kids to bed. Linking the rear shade garden to the full sun front area are rows of boxwood and a “New Dawn” rose covered arbour. The sunny area feels more restrained due to the symmetrical nature of the soft plantings. I love having a conversation between contrasting forms whether in the form of hard scaping, mirrors or architectural remnants. The most recent addition is a water feature, which adds another level of relaxation to the Brooklyn ambiance (aka sirens, choppers, traffic etc.)TP: How have you incorporated drama into your garden?
of old chandeliers that hang from the tree limbs. Several decorative mirrors reflect the rest of the yard and blur boundaries. I’ve also reused blue stone stairs to create an architectural element that lead up to a crab apple tree and disguise the massive root system.
TP: It appears you have a fondness for strong form. Are you inspired by gardens from a particular region?
garden designs have always been a source of great comfort and inspiration. Their emphasis on form, symmetry and colour restraint feel very natural to me. Just as many classical French and Italian gardens were meant to be viewed from a distance, my Brooklyn townhouse garden can be viewed from a balcony level. And throughout its design, that view has impacted the choices I've made.
TP: Would you say your garden design mirrors the style of your home?
RS: The garden design mirrors that of my home only in so far as I’ve treated the garden as an extension of the interior, but with a slightly more restrained palette. They share many similarities such as circular forms juxtaposed in rectangular spaces. Inside, it’s a wall sculpture, outside it’s hardscaping. Both areas use mirrors as decorative and functional elements. For me, it’s always about the mix of form, colour and elements harmonizing to produce a desired result.
TP: What is the desired impression you'd like visitors to take away from the design?
RS:I’d like visitors to see that although it’s a small Brooklyn Townhouse garden you can achieve an oasis in the city. A garden in the city, regardless of the size, is a valued thing.
TP: What is your all-time favorite flower to receive?
RS:I can’t choose one. But perhaps the top five, in no particular order, are: roses, peonies, ranunculus, hydrangeas and freesias. I’m also quite partial to orchids of any kind. They grew in my front yard in Trinidad and Tobago.
TP: A few words of encouragement to the novice home-gardener:
RS: It matters not whether your city garden is south or north facing, hardscrabble or waterlogged, there is a solution for achieving garden bliss. Mistakes will be made and stuff will die, but it’ll all be worth it.
Roxanne's Beauty Blueprint:
What time of day do you feel most beautiful?
When I’ve had 8 hrs of sleep and my hair and body behave themselves.
Describe your any day/go everywhere face:
Minimal makeup. Mascara , blush and lip gloss
What's in your make-up bag?
Kiehl’s lip balm, Mario Badescu sea emollient hand cream, MAC lipstick in Real Redhead, Estee Lauder sumptuous infinite mascara, Bobbi Brown concealer in almond. Chanel blush in Rose bronze and Giorgio Armani luminous foundation.
Favorite Town Haunts:
Cafe: Tip of the Tongue
Pizza take-out: We make it at home
Cocktails with girlfriends: Bar Corvo or Midwood Flats
Market:
Sweet treat:
Sunday outing: My backyard with rum drinks
Shower or bath? Shower
Coffee or tea? Green tea
Natural or treated? I’ve done both
Loose or fitted? Both
Heels or flats? Heels
Work out or work less? Work less most days
Finishing Quote:
"If my day were a short story the title would read:
Life is short. Plant flowers, eat and drink really good food and wine with people you love."
Roxanne Sarno
Interview by Crystal Granderson-Reid
'Charlotte Butler Penenberg'
Pilates Instructor/ Studio owner
Charlotte Butler Penenberg is a mother of two, wife, Pilates instructor and Owner of Streamline Pilates in Brooklyn Heights. Designed by Greek born Joseph Pilates, the Pilates method is a physical fitness system originally developed for WW1 veterans. The systematic practice focuses on using the body and mind while improving posture and flexibility. Today, Pilates is available to everyone and is a transformative experience for the entire body.
With twenty years of experience in massage and structural bodywork, Charlotte is every bit the woman you'd expect to teach Pilates: Statuesque, lean and classically beautiful. Though as the sublime apple fallen from an equally sublime tree (her mom) it's no wonder she's as fit as she is. Charlotte and her mom are mirrored images of one another that only get better with age. So despite Charlotte’s professional practice, her sylphlike silhouette has as much do with genetics as it does with Pilates.
I'm struck by Charlotte’s consummate elegance whether sporting yoga pants and a cropped leather jacket or traipsing through her tree-lined neighborhood in a coiffed, shoulder length bob. During a brief conversation lamenting a long winter, I was at once shocked and delighted to hear of Charlotte’s hidden talent: Rapping. Not to mention, Charlotte is adept at writing original rap songs and performing them, which up until now remains a well-kept secret. Though thinking back to a video she shared featuring our daughters learning to beatbox, I'd say she dropped a very large hint. Townspeople unveils the core strength behind a pillar of fitness and learns not to judge a book by its cover.
I caught up with Charlotte
to talk Rapping, Town and Takeaways:
TP: At what age did you discover rap?
CP: I pre-date rap and grew up on 70s pop. But there are few things funnier than a middle-aged white woman rapping at a family function. And it surprised the pants off of my sister’s friends at her 40th!
TP: Tell us of your hidden talent:
CP: I used to sing in a band for many years. These days I like to write songs for family members for special occasions.
TP: Do you still perform?
CP: Only every now and then when I have a special occasion. I always enjoy it when I do though.
TP: As a mother of two, do you incorporate your rapping skills into everyday life?
CP: Yes—I often wake the girls up by improvising a song or rap with lyrics just for them and what their day entails.
TP: Have rappers influenced your performance style?
CP: Not rap so much—it’s more music for me. To that end, I have to admit I really love emotional old show tunes and classic night club songs. In college, I was a big Grateful Dead fan and I’ll always have room for David Byrne and the Talking Heads.
TP: Do you write your own material?
CP: I used to and now as a gift to someone.
TP: Favorite song?
CP: Favorite song: I love all kinds of music and have gone through my phases with each throughout the years. Off the top of my head today, “Georgia on my Mind” by Ray Charles. But I heard a high school student practicing “If Ever I Should Leave You” from Camelot by the red stairs at St. Ann’s the other day and thought my heart would crack open just hearing it again. I’ve been singing it ever since.
TP: Favorite lyric?
CP: “It’s not the pale moon that excites, me, that thrills and delights me. Oh no, it’s just the nearness of you.” I sang that to my husband at our wedding.
Or “Heaven, I’m in heaven, and my heartbeats so that I can hardly speak, and I seem to find the happiness I seek when we’re out together dancing cheek to cheek.” They don’t write them like that anymore.
“It’s only a papermoon hanging over a cardboard sea, but it wouldn’t be make believe if you believed in me.”
Or how about, “I don’t know how to love him…?”
Don’t get me started…
TP: Are close friends aware of your secret passion?
CP: Yes—most of them are—especially those who have known me a long time and used to see me perform regularly. I don’t let my inner ham express itself as often anymore.
Charlotte's Beauty Blueprint:
What time of day do you feel most beautiful?
CP: Right after I’ve showered and gotten myself together. I’m ready to go!
Describe your any day/ go everywhere face:
CP: Bobbi Brown light bisque concealer and “clay” cheek palette, Laura Mercier “blush” lip gloss. Maybe some black/navy eye pencil or mascara if I’m feeling excited about my day.
What's in your make-up bag?
CP: Kiehl’s lip gloss tub, Essie “ladylike” nail polish, Laura Mercier Sapphire caviar stick eye color, Tweezerman tweezers, John Frieda touch-up flyaway hair tamer and Bobbi Brown Art Stick in Bright Raspberry just in case I’m feeling spicy. 3 big black hair bands and a few uni-ball micropoint black pens. And an old ziploc filled with a half a turkey sandwich from last Wednesday!
Charlotte’s Town: Brooklyn Heights Brooklyn, NY
Favorite Town Haunts:
Café: Le Pain Quotidien
Pizza take-out: Fascati on Henry Street
Cocktails with girlfriends: Lillet blanc on ice with a lemon twist or rye and seltzer on the rocks.
Date night: late afternoon dinner and drinks at the Gramercy Tavern front room bar followed by a movie. Home by 9:30p to watch an episode of Homeland or Good Wife. Asleep by midnight.
Market: The Berkeley Bowl in Berkeley, CA. There’s not another like it anywhere I’ve found.
Sweet treat: Chocolate mousse, coconut layer cake, red vines…I love to bake so that’s a tough one.
Sunday outing: Walk across the Brooklyn Bridge and go on a family pilgrimage wandering Manhattan.
Charlotte's Townspeople Takeaways:
Shower or bath? Shower
Coffee or tea? Tea only
Natural or treated? Natural--and doing my best to hold on
Loose or fitted? Fitted
Heels or flats? Flat
Work out or work less? Work out when I can!
Finishing Quote:
"If my day were a short story the title would read:
Much to do about Some Things!"
Interview by Crystal Granderson-Reid
'Micah Morton'
Food Stylist
Micah Morton
Micah Morton is Curly Girl Cooks. Professional Food Stylist, model/actress and mother of two, Micah's world is a seamless blend of food and fashion. And while the fashion industry would have us believe: food is beside the point, there's a revolution happening that's being televised, Tweeted, Instagrammed, Pinned and plain ol' debated. Artists, musicians and bloggers alike add to the roster of victual connoisseurs taking part in this revelatory moment. So as everyday edibles compete for Nielsen Ratings, Micah Morton emerges as an artist with endless offerings and countless ways to display them.
A recurring Stylist for the NY Times, NY Magazine, Kate Spade and other notable publications/designers, Micah is the creative genius behind many indelible images. She styles provisions on surfaces ranging from marble slabs to cast iron, plates to harvest tables, kitchen counters to wooden boards and more. Skillfully bridging the gap between plating a dish and delivering brilliance. Micah's website is a digital showroom featuring vibrant creations impelling you to eat right off its pages.
While pregnant with our oldest children (now fourteen years old), Micah and I spent countless hours devouring Greek food as we addressed our changing bodies and celebrated impending motherhood. With five children between us, we can still be found chatting at a nearby cafe. Except today, we'd likely discuss current endeavors and our lavish plans for the future. As a friend and fellow doer, I'm in constant awe of Micah's ability to expand upon her genius and stretch beyond the expected.
Townspeople stays the course to extract the inner workings of Food Styling and discover the secret behind Micah's delectable artistry.
I caught up with Micah to talk Food Styling, Town and Takeaways:
Micah on being a Food Stylist:
TP: Describe the job of a food stylist:
MM: I make food specifically to be photographed or filmed. The food is my model and I prepare it for the eyes. So someone can see it visually and connect its beauty with their desire to eat it.
TP: What influenced you to integrate fashion with food?
MM: I didn’t even realize my job existed. But I really was searching for a way to continue with my art and performance background while doing something with food. When I was introduced to food styling I felt it, immediately. You know when you have all these passions and you are on that journey of “what do I do or how do I do it?"TP: What inspires you?
MM: My kids and their constant interest in new things, music, books, and what they talk about. I love grocery stores and I am always finding inspiration in ethnic markets. I also am obsessed with magazines of all types. I love to look at the pictures and live through the stories of people you discover collected together on the pages.
TP: Describe a typical day on set?
MM: I have to grocery shop every day! It’s my life, that and schlepping things. I didn’t realize how much stuff you carry for this job! You have your kit, which is like a portable kitchen that you take from shoot to shoot. You tailor your kit to the needs of each job and each shooting location. I get up early and I hit the stores with my lists and try to shop quickly because you might need to cross the town on the hunt for a prettier ingredient or a hard to find item.
On shoot days, you and an assistant get to the studio early and get going on the recipes you need to shoot that day. Depending on the job I also have to prep lots of things beforehand because you have a finite amount of time to get the shots done. Also so much of our job is to break recipes down in ways that allow us to get through a shoot as smoothly as possible while keeping to a set schedule.
TP: Do you have a signature design style?
MM: That’s hard to say of course!! I feel like I want to see a movement in my food so that it doesn’t look dead there to your eyes when you look at it. I also like those bits of mess that tell you visually that it tastes good. Like, where the light reflects on the darker and shinier bits of char on perfectly cooked meat. Yummmm so so appetizing even when you see it and don’t taste it!
TP: What is your favorite type of food to style and/or cook?
MM: I love to cook meat.
It is so beautiful in it’s simplicity when it’s seared or grilled. I’m also very good with baked goods. One of my friends who is also a favorite food stylist calls me “the biscuit whisperer.” I have cold hands and that combined with good technique can make you a wonder with crusts and the like.
TP: Is Food Styling a competitive industry? Why?
MM: Yes, it is an occupation in the media industry so there is always a choice out there of which stylist to use on any given
job. You have to market yourself to get your
work in front of the folks who book stylists. But I have always felt that there is enough work out there and what is for me has my name on it. I was so very fortunate to have worked for the best stylists who not only do beautiful work but they really mentored me and recommended me for jobs. That unselfishness was crucial in me making it as a freelancer. I could never have done it without the help that other stylists have given me.
TP: Name three cons/three pros of Food Styling:
MM: CONS
- Having to wait a long time to get paid. Invoicing is a drag and you have to cover your expenses on each job and wait to be paid.
- It takes a while and a lot of hustle to book jobs. If you enter this business as a freelancer you have to be prepared for some real lean times while you get your book together.
- Creatively when you really feel like making a certain choice but you can’t. Possibly because of a brand aesthetic or just a decision made. Sometimes you can fight for your cause but you learn to go with the flow if the shot isn’t what you love.
PROS
- It’s a one of the best collaborative working environments. You meet and work with such talented artists and each person contributes their skill to the projects. It’s really nice to work that way.
- As a freelancer I can really determine how to work and what flow works best for me.
- There are great travel opportunities once your client base is wide enough. Actually even as an apprenticing stylist I traveled for shoots.
TP: Name a Food Stylist you admire:
MM: I have always loved Ann Disrude’s work.
I found out about her when I began in the business. I also admire Susan Spungen, she’s so versatile in her work and career.
TP: Do you aspire to have a Curly Girl Cooks cook book and/or television show?
MM: I would love to! That would be dreams fulfilled for sure. I’m working on my online presence as we speak!
TP: What would you recommend for a home cook who desires a more palatable dish presentation?
MM: I would definitely say use proper techniques across different recipes. It will save you time in making mistakes when trying out something new. For instance I always do a water bath for any cheesecake even if the recipe doesn’t call for it. That way my cheesecakes are always cooked evenly and don’t crack. A food stylist does not want to do things over and over. You read through recipes and make sure to do the basics of everyday cooking techniques to achieve great results. Unfortunately some people write recipes with confusing instructions that can lead you down the wrong path, especially when baking!
The freezer is your friend when making beautiful cookies. When I want cut out cookies to hold their cookie cutter shape after cooking, I put the cookies in the freezer. Homemade sugar cookie dough is very forgiving and you can roll it out, freeze it, and cut out your cookies. Next, return them to the freezer to harden them immediately before cooking them. Your cookies will hold their borders much better than with warm dough.
Micah's Beauty Blueprint:
Anytime if my hair is right! My hair determines everything for me. When it’s the right kind of wild I feel great. But when my hair is messed up… well time for a visit with the deep conditioner.
Describe your any day/go everywhere face:
Usually bare faced with nicely arched eyebrows. My skin is so reactive that I cannot wear anything but sunscreen every day without breaking out. When I do my face I mix a drop of Tarte Amazonian Clay foundation (Tan Sand) into my bb cream or moisturizer. Then I make sure my eyebrows are right, add some highlighter if the circles are popping. Then I finish with mascara, blush and lip gloss. Mascara is my number one thing for changing my face in the best way. It completely changes everything!!
What's in your make-up bag?
VMV Hypoallergenics Skin “Faintation” – it’s basically a lightly tinted bb cream for the hyper-reactive super allergic set LOL me!! VMV Skin Armada Face Cover SPF 30- It is the best sunblock. It even helps with indoor light for those of us that get skin irritation or melasma from any light source. Aveda All Sensitive moisturizer- It doesn’t break me out. YSL Touche Eclat #3- it’s a highlighter but it’s peach tone wipes out my dark circles and leaves me glowing without a “full face look.”
Micah's Town: Crown Heights Brooklyn, NY
Favorite Town Haunts:
MM: I have to admit… I totally leave my neighborhood most times for food! There isn’t anything really close to me. Franklin Ave. Is where the food begins. But that’s still Crown Heights (regardless of what your realtor told you) So it’s cool!
Cafe: Nero Doro in Clinton Hill makes great fresh Juices and omelettes in the AM and has nice wine and food in the evening
Pizza take-out: Barboncino is delicious to eat in. We like Peppino’s to take out.
Date night: the rare occasion… it’s always Burgers and Beer. We love to go to places that have nice burgers. Like Dram Shop or The Corner Bistro. A family date is Moo Burger in Cobble Hill. It’s a great spot with delicious food and really nice people.
Cocktails with girlfriends:
Market:
Sweet treat:
Sunday outing: Always the park and then pizza and ice cream usually.
Micah's Townspeople Takeaways:
Shower or bath? I love baths but I have no time and even less privacy
Coffee or tea? Coffee yum!
Natural or treated? Natural for sure
Loose or fitted? Fitted w/ loose accents like a great jacket. Loose doesn’t work on me otherwise.
Heels or flats? Heels!! But I can’t rock heels with my gigs so boots are a compromise.
Work out or work less? Work less! But my dance background makes me love classes for my fitness routine
Finishing Quote:
"If my day were a short story the title would read:
No time for sleeping or maybe Constantly Moving."
Micah Morton
Interview by Crystal Granderson-Reid
Entrepreneur
Rachel Lipson
Playing guitar, Ukulele, Auto Harp, keyboard, drums and more Rachel Lipson is a quintessential one-woman band. We became fast friends when she taught my middle child at the Saint Ann’s Pre-School. Rachel is responsible for introducing all three of my daughters to guitar instruction/songwriting. They loved having private lessons with Rachel. And though my daughters have gone on to pursue Violin and Cello, Rachel remains one of my favorite people and a teacher worthy of her praise.
As much as she loved teaching pre-school, the time came for Rachel to pursue her passion full time and cultivate what has become the thriving, sought-after program known as Blue Balloon Songwriting for Small People of which she's Founder & Director. Blue Balloon Songwriting for Small People is a dynamic program where students learn to write, sing, play and record original compositions. Rachel prides herself on the personal attention and careful instruction given to her students, and due to popular demand Blue Balloon Songwriting for Small People is now composed of many teachers, teaching over 75 students. At an annual “Spring Songwriting Showcase” held at the Knitting Factory, students have the opportunity to introduce their creations. For more information on classes/lessons and this year's showcase visit http://blueballoonschool.com/
Rachel’s love of children coupled with her ability to multi-task and manage a successful business has prepared her for life’s most rewarding jobs as mother and wife. As a newly-wed and new mom to her son Maxwell, Rachel radiates love. Passionate, kind and always fresh-faced, Rachel demonstrates that having a positive outlook in life renders "relentless love" at home. And with everything life throws her way, Townspeople discovers motherhood is no exception.
I caught up with Rachelto talk Motherhood, Town and Takeaways:
Rachel on Motherhood:
TP: As a teacher, you’ve worked with so many children. Has your perspective on child rearing changed since having your own?
RL: Almost immediately after becoming a parent I became less judgmental of other parents. I never quite understood the extent to which everyone is doing the very best they can. Teaching is rewarding, inspiring and at times exhausting but a teacher goes home at the end of the day. Parenting is non-stop and at times feels relentless. I have so much more sympathy for a parent who gives into a tantrum or turns on an iPad for a two year old in a restaurant…I still try to not do those things but I can completely understand how just getting through the day can trump ideology.
TP: You’ve heard of the proverbial biological clock. Myth or fact?
RL: Perhaps it’s different for everyone but for me it was a definite fact. Sometime around the time I turned 30, something completely shifted and I started to feel “ready”. I felt at that point like my heart was ready but my mind wasn’t. I spent time preparing my business and my life for motherhood. The logistics had to catch up to where my heart was.
TP: What were your initial feelings when you discovered your were pregnant?
RL: Excitement. Nervousness. Worry. Anticipation. I was in love with him from the very start…even when I was hovering over the toilet bowl, puking my brains out 5 times a day for months! Everyone told me that was a sign of a strong pregnancy and it turned out to be true in my case.
TP: In what ways has motherhood transformed you?
RL: It’s been a wonderful adventure. I feel like my body is stronger and more capable than I’d ever understood. It sounds like a cliché but I truly love my son more than I ever thought possible and then even that enormous love continues to swell and grow. It’s scary and wonderful to love someone else so much. Of course I love my husband and my parents, siblings and friends but there’s something very different about the love you feel for your child.
TP: How would you describe your parenting style?
RL: My son is still younger than the students I’ve worked with over the years and I am curious to find out how parenting will feel when he’s of preschool age. I feel very strongly that kids are capable, intelligent, thoughtful beings and that if they are truly listened to and respected, they will flourish. I’ve tried to give my son that experience from day one.
TP: The experience of having a family can easily translate into an act of morality. Do you adhere to opinions of others on what’s right or wrong?
RL: I read so many books about parenting a newborn and infant while I was pregnant (and more even after my son was born). So much about those early months felt foggier because I was sifting through all of the conflicting information in my head and out in the world. The worst was the buzz around sleep. I was given the world’s worst sleeper and my husband and I felt committed before day one to not leave him to cry-it-out. He also had reflux, trouble nursing and colic…we never knew when he was in pain and always tended to him (even if he awoke 15 times a night!). I think it’s very important for attachment development that young babies understand you will respond to them when they cry. Even our (former) pediatrician argued with us encouraging us to leave him to cry at 8 weeks old and not feed him during the night even while he was still recovering from the horrible respiratory infection RSV. It was a difficult thing to truly stick to what we believed was right and we paid the price in many ways (mainly the torture of sleep deprivation!). That said our son is very secure in his attachment to us and happy to explore his surroundings knowing we will be there when he returns to us. We did utilize a non-cry-it-out sleep consultant at 6 months old and she was amazing. She felt we had done everything right and called her at just the right time. He is now a fantastic sleeper and we are so glad we didn’t sacrifice our beliefs and stuck to what we felt was right.
TP: The one thing you wish you knew before becoming a mother:
RL: How often I’d long for time to myself but as soon as I have it, I start to miss my son! It’s a bittersweet feeling that I wasn’t prepared for.
TP: Can you offer advice to someone contemplating motherhood?
RL: Try to spend time organizing your life in advance of becoming pregnant (if possible) and before the baby comes. Every single thing you do becomes much, much harder once the baby is there: work, errands, chores, tasks, wish lists, repairs, etc. The more you can do ahead of time to ease the stress of that first year, the better off you’ll be! I am a very type-A, over-prepared type of person and I made sure everything was lined up in advance. I spent the years leading up to my son’s birth hiring and training new teachers, expanding my business and preparing it for the eventual day when I would be on a maternity leave and unable to work. That was one of the smarter business decisions I ever made. 2014, Max’s first year of life, was the single best year in Blue Balloon’s six years in business. We nearly doubled our enrollment! The nursery was set up and ready to go in my second trimester when I had the energy to assemble furniture and focus on the design, as I wanted to. I would also recommend joining new mom’s groups and any baby classes you can so you have lots of other new moms to talk to. New motherhood is an experience unlike anything else and you may find that women you would normally have nothing in common with become your close friends.
TP: If you had to shrink the definition of motherhood to a few words, how would you define it?
RL: Relentless love
Rachel's Beauty Blueprint:
What time of day do you feel most beautiful?
RL: In the morning, after a refreshing shower.
Describe your any day/ go everywhere face:
RL: Moisturizer and a bit of powder and blush.
What's in your make-up bag?
RL: Benefit Dallas Blush, Dior Brown Mascara and some other favorites.
Rachel's Town: Brooklyn Heights, Brooklyn, NY
Café: Café Pedlar
Pizza take-out: Fascatis
Cocktails with girlfriends: Henry Public
Date night: Frankies 457 or our dinner table if we can’t get a sitter
Market: Fairway
Sweet treat: Frozen Yogurt in the summertime
Sunday outing: Brooklyn Flea
Rachel's Town Takeaways
Shower or bath? Bath when I have a moment to enjoy it
Coffee or tea? Tea
Natural or treated? Natural
Loose or fitted? Fitted jeans, loose tops
Heels or flats? Boots
Work out or work less? I never work less but I rarely work out!
Finishing Quote:
"If my day were a short story the title would read:
Looking for Spring."
Rachel Lipson
Interview by Crystal Granderson-Reid
'Jodie Patterson'
Beauty Expert
Jodie Patterson
I first met Jodie Patterson at a luncheon on Martha's Vineyard. She was hard to miss in a banquet room filled with exceptional beauties. During our conversation, I recalled an old friend had invited me to the launch of Georgia (Jodie's NoLita boutique (2008-2011) and eponymous product line). And though I couldn't attend, we’d meet six years later.
Following the success of Georgia, Jodie Patterson launched Doobop.com of which she's the Co-founder and Chief Creative Officer. Doobop.com is the first e-tailer targeting fashionably shrewd, prosperous women of color, on purpose. Videos featuring real women/real styles, expert tips and video how-tos populate the site's virtual pages. Product mavens are free to scroll through Jodie's personal pampering routines, family matters and expert spotlights, pausing repeatedly to gawk at the array jaw dropping stunners scattered throughout the site. And while Doobop.com tackles every day cosmetic concerns for 'brown-girls', a term borrowed from Patterson's daughter, the site is a one-stop-shop for every woman. And we have Jodie and her LoudMouth gladiators to thank!
Beauty insiders worthy of her/his credibility understand: Beauty Experts/CCOs are required to uphold a modicum of gorgeousness at all times. And while it's no secret Jodie Patterson is gorgeous, Townspeople abandons the obvious to explore Jodie's "Off-Duty" aesthetic. Assuming such a state exists.
I caught up with Jodie to talk Off-Duty Beauty, Town & Takeaways.
Jodie on "Off-Duty" Beauty
TP: As a mother of five and the picture of fitness, what constitutes your off-duty aesthetic?
JP: My days go between home office, Soho office, kid’s school (I’m the PA President), and restaurants (where surprisingly lots of my meetings take place)… So my aesthetic matches that “on-off” lifestyle. In fact, I always feel half “on” and half “off” each day. I really like an “undone–done” look, where nothing is too serious or precious, and everything feels comfortable, and everything has a high level of value to me. My look is what I call “transfashion” where I mix eras, genders, colors, seasons and textures all together. I’m almost always wearing something vintage or passed down to me by my family mixed in with something new that I adore.
I wake up early in the morning (sometimes before 6am) to get my kids to school and then I’m often working at the school, then at my desk, then in my Soho office, back to BK to pick up kids for sports and a few late night dinners after I put my kids to bed. My look flows just as easily as I do from event to event.
JP: I always stick to my “classic-Jodie face”
I never veer far off from my center. I like a clean, neutral face. So I never wear a bold lip, for example. I always concentrate on skin and I don’t often do “trends”. When I really want to glam it up, I add a dark bronze eye shadow, Becca makes one called Seduce that’s perfect for me – and I apply it generously to my lid. And I make my eye liner way thicker on top. I’m also a huge fan of Ashunta Sheriff’s Perfect Face Dual Foundation to gently contour and illuminate (It was a total game changer for me). But even at my most glammed-out moment, I essentially look like myself.
TP: How would your children describe your “Off-Duty” beauty?
JP: Three of my boys are young (5, 7, 9) – they don’t think too much about my beauty. My teen daughter is 15 and she describes my beauty as "tomboy chic. A bit masculine and feminine with a minimal beauty look." I think she sums it up kind of perfectly!
TP: Is there a particular body part you tend to focus on more?
JP: I always smile big…I cant help it – I have a big, expressive mouth. And then I like a nice toosh and shapely legs. I always show my arms. But I don’t focus on boobs…that would be pointless for me. (Work what you got!)
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photo credit: http://intothegloss.com/?s=jodie+patterson
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TP: Name three skin products you swear by:
JP: Cleansing Facial Oil by Salma Hayek’s Nuance, Juvenate Pro Booster by Comfort Zone, and Face Oil by Georgia
TP: Sort of off topic, but what genre of music puts you in an off-duty mood?
JP: Music is such a big part of my daily. If the music isn’t right, I have to make it right. I don’t stick to genres…I’m all over the place. Right now I’m really into FKA Twigs, Sam Smith, Dev Hynes, Sbtrkt, Little Dragon, Ben Howard and D’Angelo (wow…just realizing it’s leaning very male these days!) I keep lists of favorite lyrics – and there’s no question, Nikki Minaj has some of the best! “Real Ni**as let real Bit**es come first” Beyond the sexual implications, I interpret that to mean ‘confident men, encourage strong women and girls to step out front and do their thing in the world.’ The best dads, fathers and lovers encourage and help their ladies to take the world by storm.
TP: As a purveyor of beauty, do you believe true beauty comes from within?
JP: Beauty is emotion, it has virtually nothing to do with the waxes, dyes and perfumes we purchase. Everything we see on the outside comes from a feeling or an idea from the inside. The best is when we consciously match our emotions to how we do our make up and hair, even how we decorate our homes. I’m really into “mood make-up”, where how you feel inside is expressed on the outside.
Jodie's Beauty Blueprint:
What time of day do you feel most beautiful?
I’m absolutely most beautiful when I’m well rested and properly fed.
Describe your any day/go everywhere face:
What's in your make-up bag?
Right now I'm loving Glossier’s Perfecting Skin Tint in Dark, Becca’s Automatic Eye Pencil in Bronzed Chocolate Brown on my top lid. Becca’s Shimmering Skin Perfector on my high cheeks. Nars’s The Multiple in
G-Spot on my round cheeks. And I’m not leaving my house with out Nars’s Anita on my lips (it’s the color of my natural lips…but better!
Date night: The Antagonist
Cocktails with girlfriends: Casablanca Lounge for drinks and Shenanigans
Market: Whole Foods
Sweet treat: Manny's
Sunday outing: My house, a friend's house...not much more than that.
Jodie's Townspeople Takeaways:
Shower or bath? Shower
Coffee or tea? Both
Natural or treated? Natural
Loose or fitted? Fitted
Heels or flats? Anything but ballet slippers
Work out or work less? Work that ass!
*all photos c/o (Instagram) @jodiepatterson
Finishing Quote:
"If my day were a short story the title would read:
Love In The Time of Right Now: The Journey of Her Heart."
Jodie Patterson
'Carmen Ejogo'
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Actress
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Carmen Ejogo
With awe-inspiring beauty, a desirable British accent and an easy elegance, each of which imparts an effortless cool, Carmen Ejogo is as breathtaking in person as she is on the big screen.
In her latest role, Carmen stars as Coretta Scott King in the Oscar nominated film SELMA. Co-starring David Oyelowo as Martin Luther King, and Oscar winner/SELMA producer Oprah Winfrey, Carmen portrays a Coretta we knew existed but rarely got to see. Scorned by her lover/husband and tortured by the threats against her family, Coretta commits to a nation’s struggle for civil rights while putting her personal needs on hold. Throughout the film, Carmen Ejogo masterfully emotes the resilience and strength of a woman painfully in need of her husband’s attention yet is unswerving in her pursuit of justice.
Carmen’s scene-stealing role in 2012’s cult movie SPARKLE as the drug-addicted Sister, is at once vulnerable and sexy. The film co-stars the late Whitney Houston and American Idol winner Jordin Sparks and features a few of Carmen’s own vocals. Yes! Ejogo is also a vocalist. And with many film credits under her belt, including my favorite AWAY WE GO, we can look forward to seeing Carmen in the upcoming film BORN TO BE BLUE. The film stars Ethan Hawke and is based on the life of jazz trumpeter Chet Baker. Carmen Ejogo plays Chet Baker’s love interest Jane/Elaine. I can’t wait!
A renowned actress whose star is on the rise, Carmen's other day jobs include: chauffeur, taskmaster and personal assistant to her children. Second to cherishing the work she loves, Carmen has a passion for home decoration/design. And while home-life is something she'd rather keep private, and rightfully so, her cozy, light-filled carriage house is the ideal space to show off her keen eye. I'm fortunate in that Carmen gives Townspeople a rare glimpse into what makes an Ejogo house a 'home'. So before the hustle and bustle of Carmen’s next movie premiere begins,
I caught up with Carmen to talk home-décor/design, town & takeaways:
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photo credit Eric Frideen
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Carmen on Home-décor/design:
TP: Have you been on a film set or on location and thought I need “this” in my home? If so, what film?
CE: On the set of Selma, the King family home was impeccably dressed by our amazing set designers. I loved the colors used throughout the house, mostly blues, the film’s overall palette was based on Romare Bearden paintings. I also loved a lot of the replica sixties wallpaper. I would have been happy to have any of the pieces of artwork on the walls and I was actually given the portrait of me as Coretta that you see in the dining room scene in the movie.
TP: Describe your home’s aesthetic?
CE: My aesthetic is an ever evolving attempt at warm minimalism! I’m a huge fan of Patricia Urquiola, a genius furniture and product designer, and her use of color texture and texture against a clean and neutral background is my ideal feel. Having said that, I also love Abigail Ahern, a British interior designer who plays with really intense wall colors and neons and so I sometimes experiment with stronger hues. My house is in constant decorative flux.
TP: Having grown up in England, how do you incorporate British style into your home?
CE: There was a very distinct aesthetic that developed in the UK in the 90’s, very stripped down, improvised, that really stuck, I’m still a sucker for fairy lights in place of real hardwired lighting, for example. I like it when that look butts up against something more traditional. I like the eccentricity of British style that you see in interior design and in fashion too.
TP: What’s your favorite room to relax and read a script and/or veg out with a glass of wine?
TP: How does the style of your façade influence the interior?
CE: I live in an 1890’s
carriage house and I like the fact that the exterior really misdirects the visitor as to what might be inside. It’s a far more contemporary feel once past the front door.
CE: Depends on the space. Had there been beautiful moldings for example, I may have tried to incorporate them into the overall design plan, but a carriage house doesn’t come with so many interior details, so there was carte blanche with this house.
TP: Name three things every amateur home decorator should know before beginning a project?
CE: I think how you manage the following three factors is important:
Light. How much you have to work with. It will impact the mood of a room, how much attention you’ll have to pay to adding artificial light sources and the way that paint colors will read. Flow. A space can look great but if you can’t move through it comfortably, it’ll never feel like home. Everything can be redone! Take chances, they may pay off. Especially on things that aren’t going to break the bank to redo, like paint color ideas.
TP: Do you have a go-to book or website for design tips?
CE: I love Elle Decoration, which is the British version of the publication, and Marie Claire Maison online. But I really prefer to be inspired by art and situations I encounter in real life.
TP: Whether in your Brooklyn carriage house or London flat what makes a Carmen Ejogo house ‘a home’?
CE: My kids.
Carmen’s Beauty Blueprint:
What time of day do you feel most beautiful?
At whatever time of day you find me smiling or better still, laughing out loud.
What's in your make-up bag?
Eye liner, mascara, lip balm, blush and good red and pink lipsticks to go bold on a whim.
Carmen’s Town: Fort Greene Brooklyn, NY
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photo credit Guy Aroch
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Favorite Town Haunts:
Market: Provisions
Sweet treat: Joyce Bakery
Sunday outing: Aita
Carmen’s Townspeople Takeaways:
Shower or bath? Bath
Coffee or tea? Neither
Natural or treated? Both
Loose or fitted? Both
Heels or flats? Heels
Work out or work less? Work out followed by long periods of work less
Finishing Quote:
"If my day were a short story the title would read: Daydream Believer.”
'Emma Straub'
Writer
Emma Straub
New York Times best selling novelist Emma Straub masterfully deconstructs the secret/social behaviors of average human beings with subtlety and nuance. Her writing evokes laughter at the same feelings of empathy and longing. It’s Straub’s perceptive mind and literary gymnastics that keep us coming back for more.
In her latest novel The Vacationers, we travel to the Spanish island of Mallorca with the Post family. We eat tapas, play tennis and listen in on private conversations while rooting for a family on the verge of implosion. As the family dynamic unravels, we're reminded of the immeasurable weight emotional baggage can carry and that ultimately love conquers all. In Laura Lamont's Life in Pictures, we're transported to the Golden Age of Hollywood where nothing is absolute. And while the realities of Elsa Emerson's life are stark, we're struck by her struggle for relevance knowing the odds are stacked against her. In Other People We Married, we’re introduced to characters so relatable, we shudder to think Straub might have been a fly on the wall during our most private moments. While she skillfully sculpts our real lives, and the lives of people we know into palatable, literary works of art. Against the historic backdrop of Lefferts Manor (Emma's town), Emma is striking and statuesque. And with her signature red lip and platinum blonde tresses, Emma’s street-style is as captivating as her bookish wit. Not to mention, she's beyond capable of making sense out of a muumuu. Who else can say that? Which is precisely the reason Townspeople finds her so amazing.
I caught up with Emma Straub to talk street-style, town & takeaways.
Emma on Street-Style:
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TP: Are you of the mind: Go bright or go home?
ES: In almost all circumstances, yes. I don’t know how to apply makeup or do my hair, and so I do wear a lot of bright and ridiculous clothing.
TP: Would you say your street-style is effortless or considered?
ES: It sounds somewhat braggy to describe my own style (or lack thereof) as ‘effortless,’ but it is certainly true that I don’t make much of an effort. How about ‘careless’?
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photo courtesy of Emma Straub
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TP: Name your favorite place to shop for clothing.
ES: Shareen, on 17th street, near Union Square. Best vintage dresses for miles, and wonderfully cheap. Someday I plan to buy expensive new clothes that will last and last, but for now, I buy old clothes that may last or may quickly disintegrate.
TP: List a few of your sartorial must-haves:
ES: Jean jackets, party dresses, moccasins.
TP: As a writer, can you name a fictional heroine that may have influenced your style?
ES: Like many writers, most fictional characters are total slobs. I suppose if I had to pick, I would go for one of Jane Austen’s heroines, because they always have good party dresses and hats.
TP: How would you describe your street-style in a word or three?
ES: Festive!
TP: Who is/are your fashion icon(s)?
ES: Six year olds, teenage girls, mermaids, eccentric old women.
Emma's Beauty Blueprint
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photo courtesy of Emma Straub
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What time of day do you feel most beautiful?
ES: In the morning.
Describe your any day/go everywhere face:
ES: I woke up like this.
What's in your make-up bag?
ES: Mascara, Glossier make-up that doesn’t seem to do very much but comes in a cute little bottle, lots and lots of bright lipsticks.
Emma's Town: Lefferts Manor, Brooklyn, NY
Sunday outing:
Emma's Townspeople Takeaways:
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photo courtesy of http://www.interviewmagazine.com/culture/emma-straub-the-vacationers
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Shower or bath?
Coffee or tea? Tea!
Natural or treated?
Loose or fitted?
Heels or flats? Cowboy boots.
Work out or work less?
"If my day were a short story the title would read: MORE CAKE."
Emma Straub
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